This BLOG is quickly turning into the MOMMY Diaries, but whatever. I need the release. We had a very bad night last night. My blessed baby was not her usual self. We've had a great run of sleepy nights now for about ten days. Needless to say she broke her streak. Well fed, changed, and settled by 11:00, but it didn't matter. She wailed at midnight, 1AM, then 2AM fell asleep for only a mere four hours. Unacceptable, my darling baby, when you've accustomed me to 6-7 hours of rest.
Tonight that old panic is back from those first few days of bringing her home. What will she do? Is this just a one night thing? Or the beginning of a miserable phase? (please, please, please no!!)
I didn't nap today either. Too busy. I need sleep, but I also need sanity of other forms. So I kept my ten o'clock hair appointment (feeling lovely and feminine again) and I went to that visit at a friend's house. Hopefully I will not suffer the consequences of my social needs. I know I should sleep when she sleeps, but man I long for a normal schedule. I want to have fun. I want to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at breakfast, lunch, and dinner times. I want to shower on a regular basis. I want to be with my husband when he gets homes from work instead of napping. I want to watch some of my favorite shows instead of sleeping.
It's nearly impossible to be a kind, patient mom on four hours of sleep. How is it that we are expected to peak as mothers on no sleep, when our bodies are a mess, and we haven't seen another person for days? That is a cosmic joke. Will balance ever be restored?
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