July 29, 2012

The good report

1. Em calls to check on me a lot. And gives me lots of pep talks.
2. Nephew brought us dinner, did the dishes sitting in the sink, and held E so the girls and I could nap a little longer. I can only hope our kids will be that thoughtful.
3. L actually fell asleep beside me. (Not so abnormal for M).
4. Super cool summer evenings. It gets me every time. Love!
5. Em brought peaches from in-law's orchard.
6. Dinner from VT and a neighbor and ward friend.
7. The baby sleeps and eats like a champ.

These two episodes Alex Boye (wow, what a story) and the Lower Lights) moved me to tears. Some comforting music. Just watch.

The truth is, this week has been one of the worst ever. The girls have been sick all week, coughing like crazy. Which you know goes so well with a sick and in recovery mother who can't do much. Great combo. And L is flipping out over every little thing. More so than her normal. She's a hysterical mess. And I'm joining the ranks of her club. I can't even think straight. I knew motherhood would be hard. I never had any delusions about that. But it's so much worse than I ever could have imagined. It's pretty much just shown me all my flaws and how terrible I am at it. Nice.

I spent Friday morning in the ER getting IV fluids for dehydration. The flashbacks to February were killing me. At least I didn't have to stay. And on top of that I have a massive head cold or flu. Not really sure which. My body alternates between chills and burning hot sweats. I feel so foggy and want to die. This is hell. I'm so low and need to be done.

Done, done, done.

July 22, 2012

The good report

1. E's spontaneous sleep smiles.
2. Homemade bread from a neighbor. That is luxury. And dinner too.
3. Our health insurance just got even more awesome by covering well-baby check ups and vaccines. Wooooo!! (it's about time) That will save us hundreds this year.
4. VT, Emily, and a friend in the ward inviting girls over to play this week. I use the time to nap. So very grateful.
5. Jeff fixed the busted out window screen. Again. I'm thrilled because it was killing me how white trash it looked.
6. Breezy mornings that allow me to open up the house. So lovely.
7. Jeff is a very patient man. That's all I'm sayin'.
8. Friday night in the backyard. Cool breezes and lounging in the grass. (Helpful for the cabin fever).

Watching online episodes of The song that changed my life on BYUtv. Super inspiring. Helping to pull me out of some funky feelings.

July 19, 2012

Photo failures (and successes)

Took some lame photos before the baby was born (trying to check off a list of photos I've had on the backburner), but you know what, I know exactly what to change to make them awesome. I'll post when I get around to a redo.

She's pretty cute

Canon EOS RebelG, Kodak BW400CN
It's so easy to shoot with this camera. Maybe because it's about 900 pounds lighter than the other two and auto focus. It's been sitting for a long time, but I'm liking this camera/film combo. I shoot a lot looser which can be good and bad. I'm finding my voice again with black and white. I used to be able to really see that way.

July 18, 2012

Beauty sleep

I love that little nose.

Canon EOS RebelG, Kodak BW400CN

It's been a long time since I shot my 35mm. And I used to shoot BW all the time. I have a lot of this film. I think it's pretty. Time to revisit.

July 17, 2012

Star light, star bright

Mamiya RZ, Kodak Portra 400

July 16, 2012

Just one week

My timing must be off....catching only the wackadoo faces she makes. They are all kind of scrunchy at this point though.

Mamiya RZ, Kodak Portra 400

July 15, 2012


Sometimes they genuinely hug and are really really sweet to each other.
I like to remind them, "Sisters don't hurt each other. They help each other."
Let's hope they catch on.

Canon EOS RebelG, Kodak BW400CN

July 14, 2012

Baby fine

I like how her hair swirls in the back.

Mamiya RZ, Kodak Portra 400

The Good Report

1.  My VT came for a visit.  I like the company. And she held E while I took a shower.  (Jeffy and the girls were getting groceries).
2.  A house stocked full of food I can grab.  Thanks to Jeffy's Costco run.  I am starving!
3.  Jeff fixed the broken A/C.  We only had to go 12 hours without it.  He amazes me with his handy man skills.  I'll admit I was a bit panicked inside.  I HATE to be hot.
4.  Many people inviting the girls to play. 
5.  Jeff being home all week.  (I'm panicked about Monday morning when he returns to work). 
6.  VT took me out to lunch after a day of emotions and cabin fever.  Best bacon blue cheese burger ever. 
7.  I can totally live with E's nightly sleep habits.  That girl is awesome! (please don't jinx it, please don't jinx it)
8.  A package from Missy, full of the cutest girl clothes.
9.  Snapped a few more pics of E.  I'm proud of myself on this one because I didn't take that many of L and M as newborns. 
10.  So much more laid back about some things this time around.  Can't pinpoint why.  Maybe it's experience.  Or lots of help. Or a tender mercy.  Or all of it.  (Still not claiming to like it or that it's easy though). 
11.  My sister got the girls to finally wear their life jackets.  The pool is an entirely different (laid back) experience.  Yes, yes, and yes!

Holy Wow!

Rocking my world....check this.  Stunning.

My new favorite source for little girls' clothes.  Free Shipping. I've died.  I have been searching for an affordable dress exactly like this.  (see it on).  Stunning.  Snagged the last size for L.  Oh yeah.  (wish they had it in my size).  Everyone is getting new clothes for the baby blessing.  (last baby = I'm going all out).

July 12, 2012

An early arrival

Elizabeth Ann
Born July 3, 2012
6 lbs 10 oz
19 inches


I think she's super presh. 

Mamiya RZ, Kodak Portra 400
Canon EOS RebelG, Kodak BW400CN

Give it some thought (I did)

When you are exasperated by interruptions, try to remember that their very frequency may indicate the value of your life. Only people who are full of help and strength are burdened by other persons' needs. The interruptions which we chafe at are the credentials of our indispensability. The greatest condemnation that anybody could incur - and it is a danger to guard against - is to be so independent, so unhelpful, that nobody ever interrupts us, and we are left comfortably alone.

from The Anglican Digest


I've thought so much about all the help we've received from others over the past few months.  So many have provided relief.  And the support just keeps coming.  Honestly, it has shown me how little I give to others.  Sometimes we get to see ourselves as we really are.  For me, it's not that pretty of a picture.  Here's hoping I can change what I've seen in myself.

July 11, 2012

Our favorite family

Mamiya RZ, Kodak Portra 400

July 10, 2012

Lip gloss

Aunt Missy gave her some gloss and I have to strictly ration it (hide it).  She's got an OBSESSION.  But I do think those pink lips are adorable.  Sometimes I look at my kids and I think they are downright stunning.  I can say that as a mother, right?  I don't gush very often.  But this is me gushing......

(I love this one with treasured pink blankie)


Mamiya RZ, Kodak Portra 400

July 09, 2012

A thing of beauty

The Making of the Leica M9-P »Edition Hermès« – Série Limitée Jean-Louis Dumas from Leica Camera on Vimeo.

Just wow.


M is always the first to wake up.  She comes into our room and immediately requests cereal.   Otherwise referred to as seer-roll.   She's delightful in the morning.  Snuggly and giggly.  It's nice to have some morning people to balance out the rest of us (L and I).

Mamiya RZ, Kodak Portra 400

July 08, 2012


Can't get enough of Summer produce

Mamiya RZ, Kodak Portra 400

The good report

1.  Trevor's salmon on the grill.  Downright deelish.
2.  Living room dance party with the kids.   Cute. 
3.  Any adult conversation I can get is a good thing. 
4.  A cool enough (and smoke free) morning that I was able to open the windows and doors for a few hours.
5.  We had the baby!  That was unexpected (three weeks early).
6.  The birth was mellow and that epidural .... Just how I like it. 
7.  My sister being willing and able to stay with the girls at 1AM.   Then taking them for those couple of days.  So very priceless. 
8.  L being genuinely happy and not crying/whining about it all when I talked to her on the phone.
9.  The girls' wearing life jackets (obedient!) for Aunt Emily so they could swim at Aunt Gayle's.  All while not caring life has been disrupted.  Makes me so happy. 
10.  Trevor and Amy visiting me in the hospital before heading back to Canada.  And a bag of things for me, Jeff, and girls.  They are so good to us. 
11.  Really great window light in my hospital room makes for pretty pics of baby. 
12.  When I tell Jeffy I need him....he's there. 
13.  Late night call/cry to Alisha.
14.  Meal from a neighbor the very day we came home.  And it was fantastic.  Why is food so good?  I love it.
15.  Same neighbor taking girls to play all day.  Fantastic times ten.
16.  Ibuprofen is my new best friend.  I take it.  It works. 
17.  M falling asleep on our bed, on her own, at 7PM the day we brought the baby home.  Good night.  Sleep tight.  Yes!
18.  Putting makeup on even for a couple of hours because it's been a few days and makes me feel somewhat human and normal.
19.  Staring at pretty clothes I want to wear in a couple months also makes me feel human.
20.  Jeff's sense of humor.  So totally priceless the day we brought home baby.  (Even though laughing hurts like nobody's biz).  Have I mentioned how much I need him?   
21.  I think my baby is cute.
22.  Jeff's time off work.  (I can't believe I actually thought he should go back to work at the end of the week.  What?????  I don't even know what I was talking about.)
23.  Photos/scans I took of baby ready for pickup at my lab in one day.  Eeeeee!
24.  Having a Summer baby is the best.  (comparing to L's December.  That was horrible)
25.  Hiring Bria to clean and tidy house is totally worth it considering my level of irritation.   I was pretty much losing my mind and raging.
26.  A visit from Jessie.  Love her.
One of the prettiest parties I've ever seen. Who wants to throw me one?
The Midwest never looked more beautiful.  My heart is swooning.
P.S.  I'm sad I missed the 4th Of July festivitites this week.  It's one of my favorite holidays.  Plus, it's super depressing being in the hospital during it all.  Now, the newborn phase.  Uck.  My emotions are completely WILD.  I'm short tempered and raging one minute and overwhelmed by sweetness the next.   And I'm starving.

July 07, 2012

Tucked Ponies

Mamiya RZ, Kodak Portra 400

Chalk Art

We like to soak our chalk in water for a few. Then it goes on really saturated. More like paint.

I give you, "Princess crown".....

Mamiya RZ, Kodak Portra 400
I have a light leak in my camera.

July 01, 2012

The good report

1.  My back didn't hurt sitting in church. 
2.  Having teenage nephew around makes me feel not so old.
3.  Not having to clean the sewing/guest room for Trevor and Amy because it was already clean from our last company. 
4.  Air conditioning.  My very best friend. 
5.  Went to local quilt show with my sister.  I can definitely appreciate the craft. 
6.   I love my BR rewards because I get to do things like replace three pairs of M's worn our jammies.  For FREE.
7. Bria cleaning my house for Johnston' arrival because I want to die at the thought of it all.  And I have no energy.  (Have I mentioned I have no energy?)
8.  Getting the girls to bed before 8PM a few nights.  (Preparing for late nights this next week). 
9.  Brisket and ribs dropped off by a neighbor.  He smokes.  Divine!
10.  Discovered GIANT red popsicle stains on two of my quilts.  Grrrr.   But they disappeared in the wash.  So happy about that. 
11.  A beautiful day at park & lunch with VTs this week.  I love those guys.  And their older kids entertain my little kids the whole time.  Sweetness. 
12.  The Johnston's arrive. 
13.  Canadian chocolate. Many great meals (I love to eat with the people we love). A great day at the pool. 
14.  L took to Trev & Amy like she did her Aunt Missy.  Not wanting a whole lot to do with me. 
15.  Lots and lots of help with the girls and around the house.  Such a dream.  Super grateful.  I don't deserve to be treated so nice. 
16.  White flesh peaches from Costco.  Wow.  They are juicy, fruity good.